“What do you want as your life’s purpose?”
When I ask my clients these questions in the initial sessions, I am often greeted with stares, silence, and responses of “I have no idea” or “I never thought I would live this long.” So, what if we reframe it: Who do you not want to be? This question is usually answered more quickly and readily.
I often see individuals burdened by expectations, self-doubt, and the fear of making the wrong decision. They have spent so much time surviving, scraping by, or avoiding that they have not stopped to ask: How much do I want to live? Not just exist, not just get through the day—but truly live.
A quote by Jack London states:
“I would rather be ashes than dust! I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.”
This same question—how much do you want to live?—is not just for my clients. It is for anyone willing to confront the depth of their own existence. So, I offer it to you now. How do you want to use your time?
A life well-lived is not about how much we do, but rather how deeply we experience it. We are often taught to chase milestones—more achievements, more money, more obligations, more fancy letters. Yet, what if living well meant savoring the moment rather than checking boxes?
Some walk around awaiting the proverbial shoe to drop, afraid to feel “too happy.” Others struggle to enjoy a rare moment of freedom, as guilt creeps in muttering, “You should be doing more.” But what if you gave yourself permission to want something different? To desire a life built on quality, not quantity. Depth, not width.
So, here is your homework:
- What does living mean to you? Not in theory, but in actual practice.
- What are the threats that keep you from stepping fully into your own life?
- What is one thing that would make you feel more alive today? Not someday. Today.
- What would your life look like if you were not constantly bargaining with joy or negotiating with fear?
- What kind of depth do you seek?
- How does the idea of death shape how you want to live? Does it motivate you, or make you retreat into comfort?
A quote by Seneca states, “People are frugal guarding their personal property; but as soon as it comes to squandering time they are most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.”
Let your words flow between the spaces of wanting and resisting, of questioning and realizing. And then, do not just write this—live this, because the answer to how much do you want to live? is not in thought, but rather in action.
What meteor are you waiting for? What if you were your own?
